Saturday, February 28, 2009

Broken Becky?

Becky comes in broken in spirit, battered physically, and bruised in her soul. She has gone through hell at the hands of those who are to love her…she is a toy for her dad to play with…she lives through stuff that even horror movies will not touch. Maya Angelou wrote Still I Rise about the survival and the thriving of the downtrodden, battered, cheated, raped, pillaged, African-American race and it applies to Becky as well. Enjoy…
Still I Rise
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Communication Breakdown…drives us insane…

How we process information determines the quality of our intimate relationships. There are three principles that govern this idea: 1. One cannot not behave. 2. One cannot not communicate. 3. The MEANING of a given behavior is not the TRUE meaning of the behavior; HOWEVER it is the TRUE MEANING for the person who has given it a particular meaning.

Principal one says we can never do nothing because even the so called doing nothing is doing something. Try to do nothing, try not to behave and if I am watching you I will say "you are doing something" because of what I am seeing at this moment…now hang on a moment.

Principal two follows naturally and I am communicating all the time. How many times have you said, "We just don't communicate"? All that this means is the communication at the verbal level is not very satisfying…but non verbal communication IS taking place and MEANING is given to the behavior even if the behavior is silence.

Now to the big one, Principal Three, which states that a particular behavior may be given multiple interpretations and that one interpretation is NO more correct (nor incorrect) than any other. Personal reality is subjective and how I create my reality will be formed from my assumptions and my particular frame of reference. However, it is only my perception…and that may or may not match your perception and for each of us that perception is equally 'true' and equally valid.

In addition to these three principals we need to understand that communication occurs in three modes; verbal, non-verbal and the context. The verbal is simply the words I use. The non verbal is my voice inflection, tone, facial expressions etc. The context is when I said what I said, why you think I said what I said, and where I said what I said.

When we mention communication breakdowns we usually are referring to the context and the meaning we give a particular piece of communication.

Click and Watch and Listen and Laugh and Learn

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