Want Your Heart To Be Uplifted!?!?

One tried and true strategy to offset the "blues" is to understand that you really don't have a problem...I mean relatively speaking! When you see what someone else is facing and realize that they have survived (and may even be enjoying life!) then you can "find strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow!" Here is one such person and I don't think for a moment that DAD or MOM would trade what happened here for the sorrow they experienced 17 years ago!

Take about 5 minutes and watch Patrick Thibodeau. Patrick, a young man from Maine with Down’s Syndrome, has been a manager for four years at his high school. He plays in practice with the team, but has NEVER played in an actual game. But on his Senior Night, he was allowed to start and as the video showcases, got to make some memories for the rest of his life. Wipe your eyes, call your friends, enjoy GOD'S GRACE and remember you have never had it so good!! Yeah, life is good!!

You Can't Always Trust Your Brain...

I am sure you have seen figures like the one below and gotten stuck...really stuck...so stuck that you think the problem is impossible to solve. That there is no answer...but there is!

The Nine Dot Puzzle

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Start from any point and draw four continuous lines (without lifting the pen) so that each of the nine dots has at least one line running through it. You must think "outside of the box" to solve this.

Or how about this one: If a bat and a ball together cost $1.10 and the bat costs a dollar more than the ball how much does the ball cost?

Psychology tells us that our minds have two systems for solving problems and making decisions. One is the intuitive mind and the other is the reasoning mind. The intuitive mind acts 'with out thinking'...it just 'knows' but does not always know 'how it knows.' The intuitive mind is like having a blazing fast processor but it is does not 'learn new stuff' very well. On the other hand, the reasoning system uses careful calculations that is not influenced by emotions and is slower in the processing speed than the intuitive mind. Both systems have their place but both systems have their limitations. It is critical to determine  which decisions should be made by intuition and those that require careful calculations.

Most couples I see in the therapy are emotionally stuck precisely because they can not see any answer to their situation. They tell me, "I have done all I can do" and "I have changed all I can change" and "He just won't communicate and I have tried all the tricks!" You can hear the frustration in their voice and see the turmoil on their face and feel the exasperation of their state of affairs.

Correct thinking is the beginning of solving our problems. However we almost never approach a problem systematically and exhaustively unless we have been specifically educated to do so (Miller G.A., Gallanter E. and Pibram K.H., 1960). This is especially true in navigating and negotiating our emotionally committed relationships (lovers, husband/wife, parent/child). Listen to the wife who told me last week, 'I just feel awful' and throughout the first 40 minutes of our session I counted about 37 'I feel awful's' and believe me, I was not feeling all that good by then myself. What is the answer? THINKING and thinking clearly and correctly.

Your first answer may be incorrect. The second answer may not be correct either...but that does not mean there is no answer. Think and then think about your thinking. This will slow your reaction down and keep you from doing something really dumb and may even give you a better chance of strengthening your close relationships.

Back to our problem solving brain: if you said the bat cost $1.00 that would make the ball cost 10 cents and the bat would only cost .90 more...therefore your first answer (intuitive brain system) was wrong!! But there is a correct answer. Also, try to solve the NINE DOT PUZZLE with out using GOOGLE!

Use the rush of emotion to trigger your brain to signal to your heart....slow down and THINK.

Why your brain can't always make good decisions - CNN.com

Now I Know Why!!

Well, I have wondered why I often say "We will be along in a minute" and "sure, we will pick it up for you on the way home" when there is only one body, namely mine, in the automobile. Now I know why! Dutch researchers are claiming there is a higher incidence of schizophrenia in non right-handed people! Here is what they say.

Language lateralization is decreased in left- and mixed-handed individuals...which means language can occur in both sides of the brain...not just a boring one side of the brain!! They survey 86 scientific articles and the meta analysis revealed that non-right-handers had significantly higher schizotypy scores than right-handers and this significance remained after removing an outlier of more than two standard deviations.

The research team writes in the journal Schizophrenia Research: “In conclusion, non-right-handed subjects had higher schizotypy levels than right-handed subjects, while there was no difference between strong right- and strong left-handed subjects."

Wow, now I am left handed and we will continue to write...there I go again with the 'we' thing. By the way, one of my favorite patients, from time to time,  wears a sweat shirt that states, "If All The Voices In My Head Paid Rent I Would Be Rich."

Smile today...and right handers, be aware of the lefthanders!!

Headlines-PsychiatryMatters.MD - the essential resource in psychiatry

Perspective is almost everything…when it comes to contentment and peace, that is…

My main therapeutic task in the counseling room is to help the client see 'their problem' from a different perspective. Systems theory states that the way you see a problem will determine the answer you find for 'your problem.' As long as you continue to see the problem the way you see it, then your answer will always be the same! This explains why people repeat the same thing over and over getting the same results and complain…they want different results. If my financial problem can only be understood as a lack of money then I am stuck. Did you even have an Uncle Rudy tell you, "It is not the money you make that gets you into financial trouble, it is the money you spend"? Wow, what a different perspective! When I first heard that I thought, "You are nuts, yeah, but you don't make what I make…", but he was correct and I wasn't.

With all the ups and downs of the economy (our local gas prices jumped 17 cents over night two days ago), the 'erosion' of our 401-Ks, the fear of 'what will happen tomorrow,' it is good to take a slightly different perspective. W. Michael Cox and Richard Alm remind us that the 19^th century millionaire couldn't get a cold COKE from the fridge or jump into her car and run three hours down I 65 to Gulf Shores. She could not GOOGLE anything, nor get instant news delivered to her 'desktop' 24/7. She could not jet to New York City or to Belfast, Ireland. She could not run over to the mall and buy a point-and-shoot camera, Blue Ray DVDs, or a Botox injection. She could not escape our torrid heat in the summer with AC nor have a 'boob job' done by a plastic surgeon. She could not have by-pass surgery to prolong her life or even take the 'wonder drug' (aspirin) to quell her raging headache!!

The poorest of us today are far wealthier than any of the wealthy in the 19^th Century. A worker in 1900 worked for two hours and forty minutes to buy a three pound chicken…99 years later? He would only work 24 minutes! Four years prior to my birth the average worker put in more than two hours to 'purchase' 100 kilowatts of electricity; forty-nine years later the worker put in fourteen minutes.

"Godliness with contentment is great gain…" and I struggle in this world keeping the 'right' perspective. Remember, it is how you view your problem that will determine your answer…if you don't like your 'answer' then you may want to adjust your viewpoint. Looking at and doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results…now that is insanity!

A New Twist to Pro Choice

Tolerance for other people's viewpoints and freedom to choose are sacred rights in our fluid political world today. Points of view are promoted as methods of learning and 'fair and balanced' are mantras for our media driven culture. I remember back when abortion was a horrible word and represented something that was not discussed in polite company. To the determinate of my critical thinking skills, my childhood rarely allowed 'alternative' points of view and if "God said it, then that settled it for me." If God did not settle it then my dad would! My world of information was often guided by the narrow point of view found in our regularly repeated phrase 'our church does not believe in that.' That was said so many times that I wondered, "Did my church believe in anything?" One thing was certain, we rarely discussed anything from a critical perspective.

I remember the first time I knew about suicide (a 'famous' evangelist committed suicide) and no discussion was to be had and the topic was swept away in prayers and all was hushed in the hallowed halls during my Bible School days. Then the abortion movement swept in and again I was left in the dark and not given the opportunity to think my way through and determine what is good or bad, right or wrong, holy or evil in this incredible life changing event.

I was told Roe vs. Wade established the law of the land and that Roe was a precious lady who had to carry her baby full term even though the pregnancy was the result of some horrible crime committed against her. Later I found out that Roe was a precious lady and was pulled into a hoax that was foisted upon our American culture through devious manipulations of the legal system to promote an agenda that I still can't quite wrap my brain around.

Pro choice and pro life are 'lighting rod terms' that ignite the emotions of millions of Americans. Some will even say pro abortion and anti choice to further carve out some political position for some ulterior purpose. Arguments and emotions run high and my faith steps in and sees Pro Choice in a new light. Words, thoughts, images, and music can pierce through the fog of ego defense with powerful messages…I am still critical of my thinking and strive to examine my thoughts and pursue mature life decisions…however, challenge your mind to see Pro Choice a different way and click the link below…listen and you may weep even as I did.

What Do I Want To Do When I Grow Up??

The popular career interest inventory the Self-Directed Search® (SDS®) was recently featured on Good Morning America. All four anchors of GMA took the SDS and reported their results on-air. Sam Champion and Chris Cuomo took the SDS last week and presented their results; this week, Diane Sawyer and Robin Roberts presented theirs. You can visit http://blogs.abcnews.com/gma/2008/09/whats-your-perf.html and watch the videos from the broadcast at your leisure.

One of my son's recently did this and discovered some very useful information and career guidance. I have helped numbers of clients with this self exploration. There are careers that many of us have never heard of and this short 30 minute investment of your time (along with $5.00 or so) will not only tell you what you suited for (based on your preferences) but will tell you what educational requirements are needed for your interests. Go ahead, view the videos and then take the SDS…let me know what you find…

American University Professor Akbar Ahmed to Embark on Cross-Country Trip for Ethnographic Study of Muslims in America

I recently had lunch with Don and Glenda Moon (World Gospel Missionaries who reside in Argentina) and during our conversation this was queried by Don. Can someone be a follower of Jesus Christ and still maintain a Muslim culture as his/her main identity? Wow, what a question for someone who lives on the Brass  Buckle that comprises the Bible Belt in America!! Have you, ever contemplated how much of our 'church' can be best explained by our culture...I mean the Wednesday night attendance, the sitting in pews, the organ music (or even the latest fad, 'the praise band') are cultural artifacts not biblical absolutes (and there are many, many more...).

Don mentioned that in India, multitudes of Hindu's are embracing Christ Jesus and still retaining their place within the caste system the main culture of that Hindu country. American churches are still arguing over contemporary worship versus 'traditional' worship (by the way my dad hated the word contemporary...he thought it to be something akin to blasphemy, of course he has been in heaven since 1985 and now he knows better!!) and that plane left the runway years ago. In order to overcome the fear/hatred (those two powerful psychological emotions go together) Americans have for Muslims (and vice versus) it may take some trips like Professor Ahmed is making. May God grant him safety and bless him with His grace.

American University Professor Akbar Ahmed to Embark on Cross-Country Trip for Ethnographic Study of Muslims in America