Saturday, July 14, 2007

Rules for A Really Rotten Life!

Everywhere there are articles, book and professional therapists offering advice on how to improve your life and help you become ‘happy and fulfilled.’ "How to" books fill the shelves of Books A Million, Barnes and Nobles and over flow our homes!!

There are even churches whose purpose is ‘help you become a better you in five easy steps.’

I have looked around and there seems to be missing a guide to how to make life truly miserable. Now there are some people who are have that special blend of passion and contentment and live a life of joy but what about the vast numbers of individuals who are determined to be miserable, these people have nowhere to turn for advice. With this predicament in mind I have some ‘never fail’ rules for a really rotten existence. If you are simply going through some painful times and you truly want the option of misery to blossom in your heart, then simply implement one or more of the following rules

Be a Success and Everyone Will Like You

Never let anyone see you sweat and don't let anyone know you have any vulnerabilities. You see, people want to connect with superstars and successful people, however, they want to attach in order to advance not in order to know!!

Make People Happy So They Will Want to Be Your Friend

As long as you are funny you will have friends! When people ask, "how are you?" Always do the American thing and say, "Fine!" As you do so, remember what FINE represents: Frustrated, Isolated, Neurotic, and Empty...ain't that the makin's of a truly miserable existence?!!

Don’t Do Anything That Would Upset People

In other words, make sure the needs of your husband comes before your own and really be careful not to share you true self lest he become peeved and pout all weekend (horror of horrors!) Of course, this is not gender specific, don't ever disagree with your wife or ever...well you know...

Avoid Pain At All Costs – Pain Will Destroy You

Don’t have dreams they will turn to nightmares. Don’t plan on anything because everyone will let you down and whatever you do, don’t take any risks! You should not have to tolerate any just isn't fair!

Always, I Mean Always Be Hyper Vigilant As You Look Out For Danger

Be sure you control everything or something bad will happen! Always protect yourself because people are out to get you...remember people are malicious.

Be Perfect At All Times

People only accept that which is perfect so you need to develop a highly self-critical mindset to remind yourself that you must do the job ‘just right’ or you are not good enough!

Always remember that pain is inevitable but misery is optional and to be sure you take that option let these rules run your life!

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