Friday, February 12, 2010

The Good Enough Mom Lets Her Children Fail!

There are two overarching principals of effective parenting. The first is parents must love their child(ren) unconditionally! And the second principal is equally important, namely that effective parents allow their children to fail. It is this second principal that I touch on today. I knew a mother of an 18 year old man/child. This dear wonderful loving mother was so frustrated with herself and as I talked with her she revealed that she is angry that her son won't brush his teeth. She stated with great emotion and exasperation, "He gets made at me every day when I ask him, 'Have you brushed your teeth?' I don't know what to do, he just won't brush his teeth!"

Now, if you are like me, you laugh and wonder, how did this situation get so desperate but many of us run to rescue the child from some failure/hurt/rejection etc. So remember this, parents who take on the responsibility of the child by reminding or doing for him or her, encourage the child to be irresponsible. Parents must learn to “mind their own business” and let the child learn from the logical consequences of her/his own behavior. Bon Voyage! and ¡Buen viaje! Enjoy the ride...it always gets better!!

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